The False God of Consensus

“Does this work for everyone?”

“Are we all on the same page?”

“What do you think about this?”

We use these sorts of markers to check for consensus, and they are awful little gremlins. 

Groups are terrible at decisions. (Think about the last time you and three friends were trying to pick a restaurant.)

And in our organizations, we know that we’re supposed to have “decision responsibilities,” “decision rights,” “RAPID,” “DACI,” “RACI,” and the rest. 

But often we’re still looking around the room: “Are we good?”

Olivia Mulerwa, President and CEO of Mission One, faced a decision that would have been easy to put to a vote. A board member she loved and respected needed to step down. She did what collaborative leaders do: she listened to every stakeholder individually. 

Then she did what many leaders skip: she decided. 

"I recognized that I had to make a decision. This particular issue was just too contentious to have that sort of a conversation. So I took this board member aside and said, ‘I think it's best for you to step down, because that's what serves the mission best.’"

She listened deeply. Then she simply made the call. That is the rightful endpoint of good collaboration. 

But across my 230+ conversations with nonprofit CEOs, the pattern I keep seeing is leaders who never get to that second step. They listen, and listen, and listen, and never decide: