The Niceness Trap

We say we care about outcomes. 

We claim we are driven by the mission. 

We tell people we are called to make a difference.

But every week, another CEO is telling me that their greatest headache is an employee that they should have removed years ago. These people are still there, with everyone dancing around them and their issues. 

The outcomes we claim are so precious are actually secondary to our need for interpersonal harmony. We opt for years of frustrations in our work rather than having one hard conversation.

We choose to be liked over being effective. 

Across more than 240 conversations, nonprofit CEOs keep admitting this pattern: